Who are you? Who really are you?
Who am I? Well, I can answer that question a lot more clearly and in depth than I ever could before. And it’s helped me to be happier and a better version of me. But this isn’t about who I am. It’s about me realizing that getting in touch with who I am is super important for my overall well being. And I think it might be for everyone else also.
I don’t know much of anything in the grand scheme of things. I’ve lived for 35 years and had a sporadically successful life sometimes. So, who am I to tell anyone how to do anything?
That said, I think I have a knack for pattern recognition. At least that’s what the I.Q. test said. Wish I could exchange some of that ‘prestigious’ I.Q. for a lot more tenacity and grit. Two qualities that would serve me better than being ‘smart,’ but we don’t get to choose the hands we’re dealt.
And this pattern I believe is in just about every wise person’s repertoire. They seem to all get one concept universally. Some may come to it a bit more by nature, but each and every one of them had to earn this in some real and likely painful way.
The pattern is the knowledge and confidence in the self.
‘Know thyself’ is a very old phrase.The Greeks said it (Gnothi Seauton). And I believe it’s just as relevant today as it ever was.
It’s so simple and short too. It reminds me of Einstein’s famous equation, e=mc^2. A super simple short formula that explains some of the most powerful phenomena in all of the universe.
How can you be the best version of you if you don’t know who you are?
Don’t take my word for it. The message is everywhere. I just saw it displayed beautifully in the Disney film Moana. It’s clearly the thesis of other great works of fiction of Casablanca, The Name of the Wind, E.T., and a number of amazing songs just to name a very small few examples.
Why is it so important? I’m not sure. But I think it has something to do with the seemingly true fact that the greatest power we as individuals have comes into being best when it is manufactured in us.
In other words, our best resource is ourselves.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be willing to ask help from others. That’s important, but before you can achieve greatness, your best course of action is to spend some time getting to know yourself.
If you are great, you must know that before you can believe it. We can’t simply choose to believe in something. Belief is inspired by knowledge. When someone displays a trustworthy act we can use the knowledge of that experience to fuel our belief in their abilities.
The same works with you. How can you believe in your abilities when you don’t really know who you are?
I can’t tell you who you are. No one can truly. If I or someone else told you that you were great that might make you smile but it won’t change how you view you until you look at yourself thru new eyes. See all of you. Forgive yourselves of any past mistakes or screw ups. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself what you have done. What you will do.
Give yourself the gift of accomplishments. If you really believe you’re not worthy of anything, prove yourself wrong. Do something. It can be super small. But do it. It could be something as ‘small’ as making your bed or taking out the trash. Anything you do you are allowed to use as an excuse to shower yourself in flattery and pride. Bring it to your harshly opinionated judges in your heads as evidence that you’re not worthless.
Work your way up bit by bit.
There is a game I have played before called Bigger Better. Get five or six teams of 3-5 people each. Give each team a penny and send them off. Give them a time limit (say 2 hours) to return to base. During those two hours they are going to trade their penny for something ‘bigger or better.’
Usually a rule in the game is that you can only exchange what you have to a stranger. You ask a stranger, “I have a penny. I’ll trade for something of yours that’s bigger or better.” Then whatever they get from that stranger they take to a different stranger and repeat the process. They do this as many times as they can in the time they have.
I have played this twice with two different groups. The second time I played it, one of the groups came back with a car. An actual car that sometimes even worked.
The game is a bunch of fun all the way thru, but the end is particularly great, because it’s essentially a game of show and tell. Everyone tells the fun stories of how they ended up with whatever they ended up with.
And all they started with was a penny.
If you don’t have faith in yourself, I challenge you to an alternate version of this game. Take whatever amount of will power you have and force yourself to complete one task. Make it super simple. Make it ‘to small to fail.’
For example, if you don’t meditate, maybe challenge yourself to attempt to meditate tomorrow for one minute. And try to repeat that the next day. Just one little minute. Sixty seconds of your day. It’s such a small amount of time. Surely you can do it, right?
After you do one day, do two. After two, three and so on. After a number of days in a row (the specific number is individual for all of us, so feel it out) challenge yourself to 90 seconds instead of 60 seconds. After a while up it to two minutes.
Bit by bit, get slightly better and slightly better. Six months from now you might wake up every morning and meditate for five minutes. That’s how I did it. I began so small. And after a while I got used to doing it daily. So, I could increase the time bit by bit over time.
Now, I can honestly say I have the discipline to meditate for five minutes a day. That may sound like a small amount, but I’m proud as hell. And I show no signs of slowing. By my birthday in July I might be up to ten minutes a day. Just a little bigger or better every day adds up over time.
So, who are you? Are you someone who does the things you want to do? If not, become that person. You can do it. It’s not a super power. It’s built into your DNA. You’re a survivor whose ancestors were survivors. Go be amazing. Know yourself as someone who crushes it daily.
A good first step to this process is to start disecting yourself. Take one minute and write about you. Write about a happy memory or a dream or a goal. Anything. Just write about you. Do this once a day. Start getting to know yourself. Fill the page with words that are in some way all about you. The more you get to know yourself, likely the more confident you’ll become.
It’s advice that was given to so many people in an early season of The Simpsons (clip below) that I’m just now really understanding for the first time.